How to Make Pegging Comfortable



Anal sex often has a bad rep, being associated with pain, uncleanliness or embarrassment. The reality is that most issues associated with assplay and pegging are a result of a handful of things that are easily addressed. Some pain can be actual health issues so if improving none of the above helps...go see a doctor to rule them out.

Prep Work

The sphincter is a muscle and like any muscle, it needs to be warmed up before use. That “tear your apart” feeling usually means your ass is not ready for whatever has been put inside of it. Most sphincters will be able to take a single finger with minimal discomfort but lets be honest, initially it can feel weird to have something up your ass when it's primary function is to expel things! So go easy on yourself and don't get frustrated if it feels weird or unnatural. Ladies, a common courtesy before warming up his ass is keeping your nails trimmed and smooth of rough surfaces. Start by rubbing around the anus with a lubed up finger, massage it and light up those thousands of tiny nerve endings. Listen for cues i.e. moans, heavy breathing and then proceed to slowly insert your finger to the knuckle. If you feel him tense up or take a sharp intake of breath, leave your finger inserted and with the other hand, go back to massaging the ass, anus. Wiggle your finger a bit in place and wait for the sphincter to loosen up around you before proceeding. Graduate to two fingers once they are easily taking one and then up to a small dildo or plug. Plugs are a great way to hold yourself open and can often be inserted right after cleaning so help cut back on some of the prep work.

Not Being Relaxed/Turned On

The key to good anal is feeling clean, relaxed...and kinky! If you are stressed or not feeling clean you will likely tense up as she penetrates you and that will equal pain. If you've had a particularly stressful day at work or with the family, that will likely follow you into the bedroom so keep that in mind. If you have any feelings of shame towards your ass, it may be beneficial to speak to a professional to help you move past them. Once your mind is relaxed your sphincter will follow! Now the level of cleaning you'll want to go through is a personal preference. Check out my article here to decide what's best for you! Please keep in mind that not all days are going to be good ass play days. If you feel like after performing your cleaning routine, you aren't quite ready for penetrative sex then maybe put it off to another night. Many couples are comfortable with the appearance of a little poo but it came take time to reach that level of intimacy. If you have the time, complete your cleaning routine, insert a small plug, take a nice hot bath and watch a kinky porn to get yourself in the right mindset!

Lube it Up!

When it comes to comfy butt sex, anal lube is your best friend. It's different from vaginal lube in that it's thicker and creates a better barrier. Depending on the size of the toy you may even want to use a lube applicator to deliver the lube up inside the rectum for the best comfort. When buying a lube, the first thing to consider is the material of your butt toy. If you have a silicone dildo stick to water based anal lube, otherwise you might try a silicone anal lube and see which one feels better in your ass. Remember, as sexy as it is, spit doesn’t count as lube and neither does pre-cum! Keep in mind that some lubes can irritate people and that you may need to try and few to see what feels good. Definitely steer clear of any lubes with a numbing/desensitizing agent such as Analease! You can do serious damage to your ass if you can't feel that something painful is happening. Instead try a natural solution such as pot. Not only can it relax you, it has pain relieving properties and can increase blood flow to the area, heightening the pleasure. More and more couples are exploring alternatives to sex lubes as well. Try coconut oil as a natural lubricant that's great for any material!

Quality Toys

Not all toys are created equal. Cheaper rubbers can irritate the delicate tissue inside your rectum. Your best bet is 100% silicone or glass/ceramic toys as far as eliminating that stinging/burning feeling once a toy is inserted. Try to stick with a smooth, gently curved toy to start. While the bumpy, ridged ones look fun they can be intense and painful for beginners. Check out the variety of anal toys you can incorporate here.

Positions

To know what feels best you'll need to try different positions! Not every position is going to feel great for you so start with the basics and get more adventurous as you get more accustomed to pegging. The first position to start out with is you on your back with your legs spread and her on her knees between them. The second is with her on the bottom and you on top. This allows for you to lower yourself down at your own pace and be in control of the penetration. These are both great positions because she can see your face and read your expressions easily. Don't be afraid to tell her when to slow down or stop. Never feel like you have to "take it like a man". She'll feel horrible if she causing tearing of the delicate tissues or hurts you.